True love, that has been the biggest lesson I learned as I reached 43. My soul burned from the inside, and I shed my armor, slowly but steadily. I spent so much time trying to make sense of things that were clearly presented in front of me. I resisted a little, I cried a lot. I let go with grace and acceptance, and I understood that nothing really belongs to me, not even this body. Learning and growing are painful but necessary. My heart needed to break to let the light in, to let me in, and I let myself into the depths. I learned and I stumbled on the way because some parts of me still wanted to stay in the comfort of the familiar. I hurt myself many times by choosing satisfaction over peace. Some days getting out of bed was enough, and for the first time ever, I gave myself permission to rest and to sit with the uncomfortable, with the silence. Slowly I learned to surrender, and my days started to feel lighter. Treating myself with kindness is all I needed. I forgave myself… for all the things that I allowed in order to fit somewhere or be chosen. For all the decisions I made out of desperation and those I did not make out of fear. For not standing up for myself when my boundaries were crossed and for staying quiet when I had so much to say. I forgave myself for all I didn’t do to protect the child within me. My tears became an oasis, and through the pain, I was born again. From the wreckage and broken pieces of my old self, I emerged wearing brand-new wings. So yes, as I keep moving forward into another year, the biggest lesson I learned was to practice true love… the one that holds, surrenders, and forgives, the one that is not afraid to acknowledge and repair. The love that I am meant to be, but instead, I was pouring outside of me.

Happy birthday to me!